How Home Education Bonds Family Dynamic

Last week, at Meijer, I was asked an odd question. "Are your kids loving brother and sister? Or do they hate each other?"
My eyes met the cashier inquiring, then traveled over to look at my kids, to see what could have prompted such a question. Were they in quarrel? About to murder one another? No telltale signs. They were contently working together to collect the bags of groceries. I puzzled. "They love each other and are best playmates," I answered honestly.
"That's nice," she said. "End of summer helps."

?? End of summer helps... that sentence hung in the air. I can only assume it was an implication that once my kids "go back to school" and aren't around one another for the majority of their days, it is easier to get along. It reminded me of a recent comment I read on a friend's post, where they had said the number one reason they could NOT homeschool, was "Family Dynamic."

This needs addressing. Mainly because, there are a multitude of hypocrisies within it. First of all, my kids do NOT get along 24/7. They are disagreeing with each other as I type this. However, being home affords them the space to work through their conflicts, and ultimately become closer. Home is the best training ground for relationship. For family dynamic. To say you can't be around each other because you can't be around each other is an oxymoron. It is like saying you can't pick up a book because you don't know how to read. If you don't pick up the book, you will never learn. In "end of summer" mentality, you are simply avoiding the issue. That is not learning to live with something, that is learning to bear it until you can avoid it. Same with discipline or authority issues for parent/child relationships. Secondly, it plays into the sad societal notion that the best thing about summer vacation is when it ends. Photos go viral with applause when moms make jokes at their kids' expense about getting rid of their kids so they can enjoy themselves. Even as homeschoolers, we have a strange Catch 22. We want all kids to have the freedom we enjoy, and yet, we all have to admit, we breathe a relief when our parks and museums and zoos are back to the quiet, uncrowded peace we enjoy during the school year. My kids gasp when we arrive someplace swarming with kids and ask if we can return when the place is useable again.

I don't have the answer. And I know not everyone can homeschool, and that family needs differ-sometimes year to year. But, I wonder at the answer another mom might respond with, who didn't stop to give pause that her children were listening to her answer. Does that not set a tone? If I had said, "they hate each other," would they have believed me?

I get it. Family is hard. It really is! But it is also so rewarding. And edifying. And sanctifying. There is so much you miss out on, if you are simply waiting for summer to end.
Breaks apart, or times of solitude, are healthy. But time together is precisely what makes my kids "a loving brother and sister." God ordained them to be brother and sister. Sibling relationships, family dynamics, whatever you want to call it, don't need end of summer. They need summer year round. We school year round, because living and learning is a lifestyle, not a season.